


acceptance, not ignorance

by Liliace



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Coming Out, Coran has no speaking lines but he's there, Friendship, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Lance Is a Good Bro, Male Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Misgendering, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Pidge | Katie Holt, Trans Pidge | Katie Holt, Uh that's how I wrote it, accidental misgendering though, but I guess it actually is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 16:30:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12751983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liliace/pseuds/Liliace
Summary: 'Tears are now gathering at the corners of Pidge's eyes and he'd scream if he had enough breath left, but instead he just squeezes his eyes shut and lets them take the armor and stuff him in a pod and tries his best to ignore everything.He's trying not to listen to his teammates, but it's hard and some of their comments get through his foggy brain, and then there's Lance."Wait what?!" Lance exclaims. "Pidge is a girl?!"'**AU where everything is the same except Pidge is a trans guy, and Lance is a blessing rather than comedic relief.





	acceptance, not ignorance

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't very happy with Pidge's vlog. Sure, call the one person who accepts the gender you say you are ignorant, and the people who make assumptions about your gender based on their own observations accepting. Shiro gets a free pass because he heard Matt talk about Katie, his sister, but in this story Matt didn't know Pidge is trans, so. Anyway, that's what inspired me to write this story. Hope you enjoy!

The thing is, they've been in space for weeks and Pidge still hasn't come out. To be honest, it's both because he doesn't think there should be any need for it and… because he's scared. He doesn't know how the other paladins or the Alteans will react, so he's reasonably uncertain over the option of telling them.

And then, one day he gets hurt during training. Their teamwork gets sloppy for a moment and a gladiator slips through, and it manages to hit Pidge's throat. It probably should've hit someone's stomach, really, but Pidge is so much shorter than Alteans that jabs directed at medium level for them end up being too high for him.

So Pidge goes down and he's trying to gasp for breath, but it's not working and he's maybe panicking a little and his vision is blacking out.

"Remove the chest piece!" is what he hears someone, probably Shiro, shout. Pidge is having difficulty focusing and he still can't get in a decent breath, but that sentence still alarms him.

"N-no!" he tries to gasp helplessly. "Let…" He doesn't get anything else out before he has to refocus on the simple task of dragging in a breath.

"Pidge needs a healing pod," someone else says urgently, Allura Pidge guesses, and now he's panicking even more because a healing pod will mean taking him completely out of the armor and –

He doesn't have time to voice his thoughts, although he's not even sure if he could have, because he's being picked up and carried. His chest piece is still on, at least, so he can feel some security in that even as breathing still doesn't work out and he's hanging onto consciousness by a thread.

But then he's set down, and someone tries to take the armor off him.

"No," Pidge manages to whisper desperately. "No, don't…" But the hands don't stop, and they're now lifting the chest piece off of him and Pidge can feel panic clawing at his chest even stronger than the pain of not being able to breathe.

"It's okay, Pidge," Shiro reassures him, and Pidge wants to cry because he didn't want them to know what if they thought – "we all know you're a girl."

That.

Tears are now gathering at the corners of Pidge's eyes and he'd scream if he had enough breath left, but instead he just squeezes his eyes shut and lets them take the armor and stuff him in a pod and tries his best to ignore everything.

He's trying not to listen to his teammates, but it's hard and some of their comments get through his foggy brain, and then there's Lance.

"Wait what?!" Lance exclaims. "Pidge is a girl?!" Pidge, in the meanwhile, is internally screaming that no he's not, and he's so happy that Lance didn't think so, maybe Shiro was the only one, he could fix this –

"Yes, Lance, obviously," Keith scoffs, and Pidge's heart plummets again. He was a girl. He was a girl to them, and Lance would believe that too by the time he came out of the pods, and he would – he would need to explain or be misgendered and he didn't want to deal with either and he couldn't breathe or think and his eyes were still watery and –

*****

Pidge stumbles forward, feeling his mind slowly coming back to him, and before he can fall down there are arms around his torso holding him up.

When he glances up, he sees Lance's grinning face. But the expression isn't his standard cocky smile, rather it's smaller and more caring and Pidge doesn't hate it as much as he does the other one.

"Hi, Pidgey," Lance says, and Pidge just frowns at him for the nickname. Lance helps him walk to the examination table though, and sit down on it, so he figures he should forgive the awful nickname and be thankful for the help instead.

"Hi," Pidge rasps back, and then he clears his throat and realizes that he can breathe now, although his throat is a bit sore. "Where is everyone?"

"Expecting a royal welcome?" Lance jokes, but then sobers up a little and shrugs. "They all wanted to stay, but there's some fixing that Coran had to do and Allura and Shiro needed to discuss strategy and it's soon dinner time so Hunk went to cook, and – well, I insisted that I wanted to be here to catch you when you woke up so I kicked Keith out."

"Oh," Pidge comments, not quite sure what to think of that. "Why?"

"Uh, because…" Lance hesitates, and then he switches the subject. "I'll explain in a moment, but you'll be glad to hear that you're completely okay now! And the fixing Coran is doing is related to the gladiators, so I think he's going to make sure that doesn't happen again."

"Alright," Pidge nods, and then his memories clear up and the last few moments before his blackout come back to him. Immediately, he glances down and notices that he's only dressed in the thin undersuit, so he crosses his arms in front of his chest and bites his lip to stop himself from crying again.

It had all – everything had gone bad so quickly. They all thought he was a girl, eh? Pidge wondered why, what they had all noticed, and he curled even more on himself at the thought of them being able to see his small breasts through his clothes.

"Uh, Pidge?" Lance says inquiringly, and Pidge doesn't look up, can't look up, because facing misgendering will surely make him cry.

Instead, he hums a little, and hates that even that hum sounds a little broken.

"I wanted to ask… Everyone said that you're a girl," Lance began hesitantly, and Pidge squeezes his arms around his chest even tighter. "Shiro said your real name is Katie – Allura mentioned that the mouse saw something, I'm assuming like… you changing or something. Keith said he just noticed, and Coran thought that you act very feminine and he's responsible for all our medical check-ups so he noticed your data is different. Hunk… Hunk read your diary."

Pidge's eyes shoot up at that and he stares at Lance in horror. In response, Lance hurriedly continues. "I know! I know it's a very bad thing to do and I talked to him about it and he's going to apologize. But… I asked what he read. Why he thought you were a girl. And… He said you talked about worrying everyone finding out what you are. And that your sports bra was chafing you. And…" Lance takes a deep breath and tries to smile at Pidge reassuringly. "And that doesn't convince me you're a girl, and I wanna be sure. So I'm asking you now 'cause now we know your previous identity was faked. What's your gender, dude?"

The fact that Pidge almost cries at being called a dude is rather embarrassing, but his emotions are running high right then. All those explanations hurt him even as he understood why all the others had come to believe him to be a girl. And Pidge remembers Allura approaching him with that knowing spark in her eye, but he had just avoided her completely back then. Just as he had avoided being alone with Shiro in case Shiro tried to call him Katie. And then, Lance's question.

It healed a part of the crack that had formed.

"I'm a boy," Pidge whispers. His throat feels better now, and he's pretty sure he could speak with a normal voice but – he doesn't feel able to voice that revelation in any louder tone.

"Okay," Lance states, and Pidge stares at him in shock. "What? Dude, if you say you're a guy, you're a guy. I didn't – I mean, I'm not unobservant, you know? I noticed that sometimes your clothes were a little too tight in the chest area and stuff but – like, I didn't want to assume anything? You came into the Garrison as a guy, and never corrected our assumption, so I just figured that. You know, you were trans or something. Which is okay and I didn't want to pry."

Pidge is very embarrassed to find that now he is actually crying. It's not often that he finds people who just take his word on his gender, so Lance's proclamation means so much to him. And Lance not assuming that he was a girl just because something about him didn't fit into the masculine model was so important to him and just. He's so thankful for Lance at that moment.

And because Pidge is emotional and he wants to show is appreciation, he lunges forward and wraps his arms around Lance. To Lance's credit, it doesn't take long for him to return the hug, and he squeezed back just as tightly as Pidge is squeezing him.

They stay like that for a moment. Pidge has been through a lot in what seems like a short time span to him, and he needs the comfort. Luckily, Lance is never one to shy away from physical affection and he doesn't seem bothered at all by the prolonged hug.

Eventually they part, though. The separation is instigated by Pidge, and he's pretty sure that Lance would have stayed in that position however long he needed to. But Pidge is starting to feel hungry and although he doesn't want to, he knows that he needs to face the others soon.

"Okay," Pidge says, and then clears his throat because he still sounds choked up. There's also a wet spot on Lance's hoodie but Lance doesn't appear to notice or care, and Pidge sure isn't going to mention it. "You said something about dinner, right?"

He must appear just as reluctant as he feels, because Lance eyes him with a frown. "I can fetch you a plate and bring it to your room, if you want."

Pidge shakes his head and tries to smile, which probably comes across as an awkward grimace instead. "I'll have to face them sometime. Better to get it over with."

Lance nods, but Pidge can tell that he's still hesitant. That makes two of them, because Pidge really doesn't feel secure in his decision here. But his words hold true, and… It's better if he can control when it happens. Probably.

"Do you at least want my hoodie?" Lance asks, and Pidge suddenly again becomes aware of just how little he's wearing. He doesn't feel as awkward now that he knows Lance doesn't care about – well, his body type, but he's still not comfortable in the thin material. So he nods quickly.

Without another word, Lance shrugs off his hoodie and hands it to Pidge, who puts in on and zips it up completely. Since Lance it quite a bit taller than he is, the hoodie pretty much swallows him up. Which suits Pidge just fine.

"Do you want to stop by your room before dinner? To change? Shiro took your armor there already," Lance says, and Pidge blinks a little because he hadn't honestly expected Lance to be so considerate.

He takes stock of how he's feeling, and honestly the hoodie is so comfortable and warm and it's about as loose and shape-hiding as you can get. He's not sure he wants to take it off yet, and since it reached all the way to his thighs, he doesn't think he needs anything else to cover up.

"Nah, I'm good," Pidge says, and then nods decisively to convince both himself and Lance of it.

"Alright, we're off to find Hunk then!" Lance exclaims cheerily, and then they both head out of the medical room to go to the kitchen. Throughout the whole trip, Pidge is mentally preparing himself to face Hunk – both to not yell at Hunk for reading his diary, and to have to come out to someone.

Because that's what he's going to do. He doesn't want to deal with misgendering, and Lance is cool about it so the odds are that Hunk will be too, and the possibility that everyone else will be against him is so much easier to bear when he has an ally by his side.

When they arrive at the kitchen, it's not just Hunk there, though. It's all the paladins and the Alteans, and Pidge freezes in the doorway.

"Pidge!" Hunk exclaims first, and his announcement of their arrival is followed by many relieved shouts. "We were just having dinner and then we would've come to bring you and Lance some, too!"

"Hey, Pidge," Shiro says next, smiling softly. Then he turns to Lance inquisitively. "Did you manage to talk to Pidge as you wanted to?"

Pidge assumes that Lance nods because he doesn't say anything, but Pidge can't turn his head to look. He can't do much of anything, really, because he's being faced with all these people who think he's a girl. Who have believed he's a girl for the longest time and he hadn't even known. And now he has to correct them.

Lance leans a little closer to him and asks in a whisper, "You alright?" Pidge can't even nod in response.

Everyone is staring at them, and they've clued in that something is up and Pidge can't get the words out. He needs to, he knows, but he's not sure how to… say it.

"You want to just go sit?" Lance asks, again, and Pidge still can't respond. He feels frozen.

But then a hand wraps around his own which is covered by the hoodie's long sleeve, and life jumps back into Pidge. He takes a deep breath and marvels at being able to do so.

He glances at Lance. There's acceptance there, and worry, but no judgement. Pidge knows that if he walked into the room and pretended that everything was fine and didn't come out, Lance would follow along and not do anything. He also knows that if he does come out and things go south, Lance will have his back because Lance was never one to go by the popular opinion.

So Pidge squares up his shoulders, squeezes Lance's hand, and looks back at everyone gathered around the kitchen table. His gaze is defiant and his expression is certain.

"You guys were wrong," he says, and although his voice wavers a little he carries on with determination. "I'm a boy."

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are so appreciated, I'd love to know what you think!


End file.
